I developed anticipatory grief in 2003 when Linda was diagnosed with breast cancer. I could not imagine life without her. I was determined to make the most of our every remaining moment together. "Insanity" filled my journal while she focused on recovery. Later I selected entries from these entries and initiated a Caregiver's Manual for Men (CMfM). One thing leads to another. My involvement as advocate for male caregivers had begun.

The ITN program acknowledges men need “face time” to process developments in the care receiver’s (and his own) experience. The Caregiver's Manual makes space to reflect on the introspective (spiritual) nature of the journey. MLBerg’s Caregiver blog provides visibility while preserving anonymity. It’s not perfect but it’s a start and it's close enough that it helps.

Feedback is always appreciated.

Let's pose two questions for you:

1) Men and women are on different wavelengths. Do you believe we are wired differently?

Caregiving calls some men to behave more softly. Caregiving calls others--some women--to become stronger. Many organizations are so resigned they do not expect men to take on caregiver roles. Solicit an opinion from a caregiving man about this blog. Was his impression the same as yours?

2) Do you believe healthcare professionals will be able to recruit adequate trained nursing staffs to meet rising caregiving demands?

If you answered "no and yes" to these questions, we are through here.

If your answers are yes and no then please collaborate on a solution. Thank you for your consideration.

Let's not argue, speculating what’s right, what’s not, what’s best, what’s worst, and more. By the end of the day we’ll have gotten nowhere. Grab the bull by the horns. The guides in this blog are prototypes, a forum for sharing ideas. Start the ball rolling. In other words, this platform is an attempt to respect people's right for dignity. Please don't misunderstand--We're not against people hopping on bandwagons. Those that are well-versed in recognizing the generally dismal system of support we have for caregiving men should embrace this “Caregiver’s cause” as their own. We can jump-start the process of "changing to improve" while others are still involved with deciding which donations they should earn.

This site began as an outlet for a pastime but was taken over by the passion to encourage sharing of caregiver insights, especially between men (we’re such aliens). It recognizes “potential” caregivers, creating a circle of support for people with new awareness of a serious social ill. It doesn't take an electrician to figure out that something smells like fried wiring. MLBerg's Caregiver blog produces content for novices and professionals. If you have a better way to express caregiving, let us know so we can change. This is not a commercial site. Add custom tools to the “TOOLBOX” so everyone gets to use them.

To recap, ITN files are accessed through links in the ITN Corner or from "ITN" Category keywords. Everything is negotiable. We're human. We all make mistakes. Please be patient. Be persistent.

Unfortunately with anything open to the public (blogs, message boards, even Facebook), there will always be some nasty folks who seem to come out of nowhere. While the reason for their unprovoked meanness is often unknown, they can do a lot of harm with their postings. I wish I could offer you a solution for this, but have learned it’s just part of doing business in a public arena.

I wish I could be of more help to you. I do admire your tenacity.

Be satisfied when you've done your best. Tap into existing resources, tweak a few so they become customized to our situations, craft others to fill in the gaps, and blend them together into a network of support. If you want to comment on the CMfM or MLBerg’s Caregiver blog, do so. 

Don’t worry about your location in the world. We are a global community. Don’t be afraid to address conditions, diseases, or circumstances of everyone out of reach. Do try to follow ITN Meeting Agendas as closely as possible. Critique them afterwards. Suggest ways to improve the format. Recognize purposes of flexibility and rigidity may trump personal preferences or biases.

Finally, share your great voice of experience on MLBerg's Caregiver blog. Help create caregivers who are unwilling to hoard lessons learned on roads to recovery. Tell the world what works for you, what you want to change, and what needs to be resolved. Someday everyone's priorities will shift if we pull together.