I'm on my own. There are no redo's, start overs, or rewinds.

Why did I think I could change things?

The inner voice told me (what I did) was the right thing to do. I made a difference.

Why don't I believe anyone else could need me to be an example for them?

When it is all over and I am alone again, I'll wonder if it was worth it.

A caregiver and a care receiver were comparing notes about caregiving.

"Yes, she demands a lot of attention but she's worth it," said the caregiver.

"I only tell my caregiver about the needs that absolutely, positively must be met," replied the care receiver. "Otherwise he'll want more care than he can give."

Caregivers process information. Duh. The bigger game is how do they process it? Or more poignant, how should they process it?

Men as caregivers do largely as they are told and they meet the expectations set forth by society. If they step outside the box and try to give care beyond the norm, they are not chastised but neither are they supported nor adequately encouraged in this course of action.

It is almost as if... (You'll fill in the missing pieces.)

Permission to imagine, to pursue my dreams.

Goals that reflect a world as it could be, the way I see it.

Means for instilling in all people the want to give better care.

Hang in there, it will get better.

Hang in there, you shall find rest.

Hang in there, you are doing the right thing.

Hang in there, make it through another episode.

Hang in there, the worst may already be over.

Hang in there, this experience is preparing you so you'll be able to handle things yet to come with less doubt and agony.

Hang in there, it's all worth it.

Hang in there, the love you give is among the greatest achievements of your life.

Hang in there, don't quit.

Hang in there, tell yourself to try just one more time.

Hang in there my friend. Hang in there.

Sometimes I wonder if I shall ever find myself again. Demands were easier to handle when I only cared mostly for my own needs. This change of giving care to those in need has taken its toll on my mind.

What’s up? None of this is easy. I keep thinking somehow everyone can wake up and everything will become straightforward. That’s how simple minds work.

I appreciate honesty. I despise paranoid behaviors. You may have to dumb it down to achieve honesty.

Shall we also perish when the righteous disprove the need for better caregiving?

It is often easier to empathize with the abused rather than with the abuser. After all, nobody deserves to be treated "this way." And it is simpler to block out any awareness of why or how things got to be "this way."

A caregiver must come to grips with the awareness "Life happens" (some would say sh** happens). The fact is sometimes despite our best efforts we still fail. Mistakes are made. Abuse occurs. Tragedy hits and everyone is dumbstruck.

We hope our presence as caregivers will bring comfort, strength and a positive outcome.  Continue to pray.

I've been  around since 1957. The real time stress of giving care to those in need has become a permanent state. If nothing lasts forever, then how will I get through these next 52 years?

1. Learn to enjoy life
2. Trust in the goodness of people
3. Share what I can when I can with whomever comes into my community
4. Find value in every being

The present challenge is to surpass all the support we received in the past with meaningful and timely giving in the future.

Brief and to the point.

Any of the computer courses that you take will be of value since everything depends on computers these days. The more technical the better. Most people don't want to know the technical details they just want their computer to work, and anybody who can fix a computer will always be in demand.
Good luck

(reflection was forwarded via email--author unknown):


Dancing With God 
When I meditated on the word  Guidance, 
I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. 
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. 
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. 
The movement doesn't flow with the music, 
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. 
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, 
both bodies begin to flow with the music. 
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back 
or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another. 
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. 
The dance takes surrender, willingness, 
and attentiveness from one person 
and gentle guidance and skill from the other. 
My eyes drew back to the word  Guidance. 
When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i". 
"God, "u" and "i" dance." 
God, you, and I dance. 
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust 
that I would get guidance about my life. 
Once again, I became willing to let God lead. 
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings 
and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday. 
May you abide in God, as God abides in you. 
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead 
and to guide you through each season of your life. 
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached. 
If God has done anything for you in your life, 
please share this message with someone else. 
There is no cost but a lot of rewards;
so let's continue to pray for one another. 
And I Hope You Dance Through Each New Day!

Wait while resolution is being digested.

****G U I D A N C E*****

You must believe everyone deserves justice, peace, love, health, prosperity, and well being.

Don't give up on us or quit just yet...

We are not firmly rooted in our ways nor entrenched with wisdom.

Weary, worn, and worried, we work to understand our own feelings.

What's the point of failure? How can we cope with more loss?

When promises can't be kept are we better off to avoid making the effort to try?

The personal crisis that arises from caregiving is often tied to the messiness of life.

Have you ever known someone to say, "That's just the way it is." And have you ever bought into the notion, "You will be powerless to influence (a particular situation) so you might as well not even try."

With YOUR donkey on the line you can decide what losses to cut and which ones you want to try and save.

But when it's someone else who depends on you for care, don't even think about taking the easy way out. Some things in life are hard. If we choose to ignore our obligations, we are really creating bigger hardships somewhere else.

Best to give care when it is due. This sage advice, like "A stitch in time saves nine" means we will always have maintenance issues that require attention. So smile, be happy, and be grateful that you have the resources to make a difference. It is true: someday even this will be gone.

The culture of men (Adapted from today's KC Star Sports Daily; everything out of context and superimposed as caregiver perspectives):

Freedom: Some coaches go way too far. We (men) are not supposed to complain. We're supposed to treat everything that doesn't kill us as something that makes us stronger.

Hope: Treating people with respect goes a really long way. Take pride in being men of character. Grow in the short time that you have. Maybe you haven't responded to life's lessons, the small victories. Learn to deal with a variety of different mechanisms. Act on things that will make life a little bit better.

Love: Tortured souls, trapped between desire, reality, and imagination. When does the mind get off? Where does anguish end and pain begin...and at what cost?

So you've received some purported tragic news regarding the one you love. Maybe it is a life-threatening illness. Perhaps it is a pending condition. Is there anything you can do in anticipation of the tragedy?

Assume your opportunities to give care will be limited. How can you make the most of the time you've got left?

Be hopeful and share a positive spirit. If the boat is sinking and you're all going to drown anyway, might as well have fun dressing up in the life preservers.

In other words, do everything you can to improve the chance this will be perceived as a loving response. Sure some things are final, irreversible, and permanent. But other acts either add or detract from situations. For example, show your loved one a new face of your caring. Open up. Be daring.

Think of life as an impromptu performance. No rehearsals. No second chance to get it right. Do your best and know you did your best when it is time to move on.

There is not enough time to do it all. Best to make the most out of the time remaining.