I trust everyone celebrated a relaxing Halloween evening and then slept a peaceful night, with a full moon and an enchanted reality.

I trust people who believe that caregiving with all its difficulties— it will never happen to them (immune, as they might be)—were content to imagine ghouls, ghosts, and goblins to visit them from a fairy tale land, ring their doorbells, collect fares for passage, and then slip away mysteriously into the night.

I trust people, with hearts set on giving care to care receivers and with heads firmly rooted in the present, kept vigilant eyes and watched for other signs, waiting on more demands while wondering how to meet needs without support.

 

I trust people in leadership roles gave their all to create caregiver support for men and women but were unable to generate interest for men because one size of caregiver costume does not fit all.

 

I trust we will not need a better system next Halloween too. I hope the leaders will adopt the ITN concept (collaboration) and share their successes. I pray the men and women will finally wake up and realize we’ve got to help each other.

Thank God we've only got minor things to worry about.

Emotional awareness is that part of us that says "this sucks" but goes ahead and does the right thing. The easiest thing to do would be run away and hide, pretend it's someone's responsibility (besides your own), check out, log off, cut losses, and give up.

Emotional awareness can arrive anytime. Perhaps you finally "get it" after an innocence is lost or a loved one fails.

Emotional awareness seeks ending a feud with God. "Eye for eye, tooth for tooth...", the law, and other meters of justice obstruct the personal investment it takes to bring peace; emotional awareness removes impediments to caregiving.

It's never going to get any better if we aren't willing to try something different.

Do you deal well with change? The basic layout of MLBerg's Caregiver blog is fairly constant. The entries are regular and original. This format blends the impact of old and new. Archival pages can be accessed via links. Some text gets revised, removed, and replaced. This is the only way I know of to address past, present, and future caregiving concerns.

These are five things I hope for the people I love:

1. The cancers will never control our lives.

2. The unrest will reach peaceful resolutions.

3. Our children will grow and embrace the world.

4. Our parents will find rest.

5. I will become a better caregiver.

What is your take on zombies? Fairly ambivalent, especially since they only exist on an imaginary plane.

But how about loved ones or persons you despise? It is safe to say "I have strong feelings" regarding people who make a difference and have an influence (positive or negative) on the way I experience life.

I've never met a zombie I did or did not like. I have known individuals and groups that create in me a zest for living.

If you can, get out of your zombie rolls, put on some zest, forget about diseases for a while and have some fun. Your care receiver may appreciate the improvement.

MLBerg's Caregiver blog is a resource.

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www.mlberg.spaces.live.com

****<eMail MLBerg>***
mlberg.caregiver.blog@gmail.com

Why don't typical support groups for the caregiving man generate enough interest to sustain participants? Ask yourself, "What is the focus of the group?" Education about specific illnesses and diseases is great but these may not be the support men are looking for.

Look at the tagline of MLBerg's Caregiver blog. Ask yourself, "Who is the focus of the blog?" Clearly we are on a mission.

• Endorse Caregiving Principles.
• Empower Individual Caregivers.
• Encourage Enriched Care Delivery.

The best that we can offer you is the realization we are not alone. We can't take everything back, undo anything, or make something go away.

Perhaps you have already realized your destiny and you just want some companionship. Nobody can make somebody "be there" for you.

You may ask, "What's your point?" MLBerg's Caregiver blog is just that: a point in time and space. We are pilgrims on a journey, starting from different locations and headed to different places. All travelers must pass through the reality of giving care.

Some people cannot keep hula hoops in suspense. I am one of them. It should come as no surprise that I have a stigma about doing "Elvis" hip gyrations in dance class. Finally I realized the moves are part of a routine that is here to stay. I decided to look at them for fun rather than as an exercise in futility.

Q. What do you call a hula hoop with a nail it?

A. A naval destroyer.

Q. What do you get when you cross a hula hoop with a steam roller?

What can I say. You're dying outside. I'm dying inside.
I've never been so lost or alone or afraid. We're dying.

A caregiver must have a giving attitude.

When I was a kid I heard the adage "Birds of a feather flock together." If you want to become a better caregiver, start hanging out with other good caregivers. This means old guys - those long of tooth - need to be available to (us) young guys. This means young guys - those newly indoctrinated to caregiving - need to be receptive to the wisdom of (us) old guys.

Caregiving demands a lot. The ITN program combines structure with flexibility and asks you only to abandon entitlement attitudes as we prepare to fly!

You have not begun to consider everything that might upset the apple cart.

Best to visualize using your resources and energy to become a better caregiver.

Caregiving is an experience in life's varied lessons

Caregiving is one possible alternative to an impossible situation

Caregiving is a temporary fix for a broken image of perfection

Caregiving is the "real concern" aspect of love

Caregiving is probably the best conclusion for the worst imaginable consequence

Caregiving is a choice, an obligation, a gift, and a blessing

Caregiving is the component which makes achievement meaningful

Caregiving is the only link to the answer for the question "Why"

Caregiving is a tool which can turn holes into wholes

Selfish Bastard
What's in it for me?
Why should I care...
There's nothing I want

If stressors are known to defeat you
When stressors are suspected to bring you down
Would you eliminate the stressors in your life or have them eliminate you

Start living as though stressors are useless chunks of tissue to be trimmed from awareness
You can't take it with you and even if you could it would only weigh you down, set you back,
hold your feet to the fire of a miserable existence

The hardest part of life is knowing (thinking) one reality and finding another in its place. Some people are very stoic and resolute when it comes to dealing with loss. "It has happened before and it will happen again. It happened to me. Suck it up. Get over it. I did." There are those who appear supportive and encouraging. "Hang in there. I feel your pain." Others just escape without making input. The truth is nobody cares like you do.

Why is this? The "How did this happen to me?" awareness sparks the realization that we are all in this together.

Your caregiving role probably does not include caring for strangers unless you are a healthcare professional or some other dedicated resource. What would it take to release your inhibitions about caring more and finding ways for you to give care?

Let us know what you are doing to improve caregiving for everyone.

"There is not really a good way to describe how this happened..."

No explanations are good ones for the bearers of bad news.

"How shall we survive?"

No answer can justify impending loss.

"...it must have been logged incorrectly."

Nobody excuses ineptitude as an acceptable limit.

A caregiver must focus on a solution and bring hope to the situation.

Healing Prayer

 

I dreamed I entered God's domain

to find an answer for each pain.

With my encounters needing care

I asked the Lord, "Why take me there?"

 

"I made that grief so you could share

and none would get more than they bear.

Though you have lived well without sin

the world needs healing from within.

 

"My spirit rests on every being.

There's more to life than what you're seeing.

The homeless die on streets forgotten.

The hungry long to eat what's rotten.

 

"The broken rend in fields divided

while restless wither undecided.

The needy plead considerations

but you are blessed for generations.

 

From all occasions such as these

I begged forgiveness on my knees.

Thus, new convert, I understood

the true belief that "It's All Good."