It is often easier to empathize with the abused rather than with the abuser. After all, nobody deserves to be treated "this way." And it is simpler to block out any awareness of why or how things got to be "this way."

A caregiver must come to grips with the awareness "Life happens" (some would say sh** happens). The fact is sometimes despite our best efforts we still fail. Mistakes are made. Abuse occurs. Tragedy hits and everyone is dumbstruck.

We hope our presence as caregivers will bring comfort, strength and a positive outcome.  Continue to pray.

(reflection was forwarded via email--author unknown):


Dancing With God 
When I meditated on the word  Guidance, 
I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word. 
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing. 
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. 
The movement doesn't flow with the music, 
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. 
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, 
both bodies begin to flow with the music. 
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back 
or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another. 
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. 
The dance takes surrender, willingness, 
and attentiveness from one person 
and gentle guidance and skill from the other. 
My eyes drew back to the word  Guidance. 
When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i". 
"God, "u" and "i" dance." 
God, you, and I dance. 
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust 
that I would get guidance about my life. 
Once again, I became willing to let God lead. 
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings 
and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday. 
May you abide in God, as God abides in you. 
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead 
and to guide you through each season of your life. 
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached. 
If God has done anything for you in your life, 
please share this message with someone else. 
There is no cost but a lot of rewards;
so let's continue to pray for one another. 
And I Hope You Dance Through Each New Day!

The search for peace and the search for justice don't have to be mutually exclusive.

It is a moot point to tell you I have the social skills of an engineer. I am an engineer. This spaces format is predominantly a social networking media. I chose to participate by defining social as a forum for examining views on responsibility in today's global society.

It is important to tell you about our care receivers. We are caregivers. We are just like you. We try to juggle many interests, responsibilities, and cares. Sometimes we are successful. We fail, we endeavor, and we exist.

How should it be? What makes it best for the sum of the parts, the whole? Communication of the message "I am hurting" needs to be heard. Volunteering the offer "What can I do to help?" needs to be accepted.

We all have limitations. Let's try to appreciate diversity and work together with efficiency and gratitude.

Caregiving is an experience in life's varied lessons

Caregiving is one possible alternative to an impossible situation

Caregiving is a temporary fix for a broken image of perfection

Caregiving is the "real concern" aspect of love

Caregiving is probably the best conclusion for the worst imaginable consequence

Caregiving is a choice, an obligation, a gift, and a blessing

Caregiving is the component which makes achievement meaningful

Caregiving is the only link to the answer for the question "Why"

Caregiving is a tool which can turn holes into wholes

No work, no gain,
no please, no pain,
no sun, no rain,
despair, disdain,
no hook, no crane,
no lode, no vein,
no stress, no strain,
incite, complain,
no trib, no main,
no veil, no cane,
no ride, no train,
absurd, insane,
no trick, explain,
no need to feign,
none should sustain,
no growth, no chain,
no fault, again.

Giving uneasiness; gloomy; disagreeably situated; uneasy; ill at ease; disquieting; not pleasant or agreeable.

If caregiving has this effect on you, perhaps you should change.

Comfort my people.

Ten pounds in

Five pounds out

It's got to fit

There is no doubt

Ten pounds of trouble

Five pounds of grace

Hold your breath

What takes its place?

Look for ways

To help amend

Ten pounds out

Five pounds in

I'm giving care on the road. The nine selections (actually eight--I didn't have time to finish #9) are this morning's early muse.

It's possible to be a caregiver AND take care of yourself. I'll be back. Take care. Dan

Roots to the past

Branches to the future

The present is the trunk

Channeling history, dreams, and purpose

in an inseparable volley

between life and death

Dear Linda,

I love you. You infuse me with love, bolster my ego, add zest, and calm me like Zoloft. I'm not half the Dan I used to be. I'm better, more secure, less afraid, confident, faithful, committed. I give myself permission to be alive. My spirit rejoices. You love me!

One egg in the nest

The other in the frying pan

How much longer O Lord?

And how's my mother?


Oh Dad, we're old now --

We've got one foot in the grave

and she has both feet in.


All of this for what?

To preserve some insight for living?


You were right.

Words are heard but they will never hold the same message.

Trauma changes everything

Distorts meaning

Alters truth

That's life

Who's that knockin' at my door?

Old friend, neighbor, spirited traveler!

We have so much in common:

loss, emptiness, sorrow,

faith, hope, love. Joy!



We shared a smile,

laughed at silly thoughts, and

cried tears of happiness.

Time to move -- while we can still enjoy life.

She keeps the undershorts he wore on their wedding night neatly folded in his chest of drawers.

She kept scraps of everything they shared together, only a touch away.

She has dreams of tomorrow but she lives in the past, hoping the present will blend new with old.

He is alive in her memories; his same shadow falls from this body now inhabited by a stranger.

Let go of past

Release inner strength

Be not afraid

Compassion consoles the comforter

Our lives are but a mystery

One fades

Another takes its place

Journeys ended--Journeys begun

Peace to all those who enter

Shalom is my name

I give you a new heart

Find your peace in me

Love tenderly

Sensitize
Desensitize
Overly-sensitive
Insensitive

Get over it

Purporting to solve problems one crisis at a time

Immediacy

We think in different terms. I see leaves on the carpet and set the vacuum out of the closet because I want to be sure my plans include cleaning the floor. You cut to the chase by dealing with estimates and averages instead of "actuals." Progress is measured on milestones: start, middle, finish.

Good things are happening deep inside of me
My mother and my lawyer want the best that I can be
I can't afford a discount,
"At all costs" will break the bank
There's a wideness in God's mercy
We have attitude to thank